i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
