If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
