I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
