You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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