Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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