you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
