He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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