you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
