some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
