i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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