I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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