on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
