sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
