omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
