I'm lost and stupid without you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
