Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
