he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
