he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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