Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
