the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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