I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize