Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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