you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
