absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
