He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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