I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
