You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
