maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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