In the future we'll all be gay
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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