every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
