I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
