How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
