There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
