mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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