Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
