eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
