I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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