Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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