did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
