I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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