do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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