I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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