You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
