First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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