maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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