I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
