i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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