You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
