Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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