no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
