I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
ttyl tear gas
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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