My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He has the fingertips of a God
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