before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize