so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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