Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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