So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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