I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
