Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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