I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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