She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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