we have officially lost it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize