Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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