but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Randomize
