I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
