i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize