she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
