so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
