Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
