:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
someone owes me an orgasm
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
