I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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