and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
