make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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