Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
