I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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