I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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