Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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