Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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